Bisous

New York, I love you

Recent events have caused me to realize a few things about myself.

#1 =======> I WORK TOO MUCH

I have had the flu for the past week and am finally starting to feel better. It was pretty ridiculous though... I was shaking, had a fever, felt really weak, and in general looked like shit. But despite my sickness, I was still trying to carry out my daily activities as though nothing was wrong which proved to be a stupid idea. Admitting defeat and taking a few days off of work to sleep a lot was the solution and now I'm feeling about 75%. But since I started working at this new job I have never been sick so often. In 6 months I have been sick 3 times from pushing myself too much.

#2 ========> I WANT TO TRAVEL

Friends that I have met out here have inspired me. I've been having discussions about traveling and the fact that I have never really traveled and I realized that I'm bored. I really believe that traveling is important and right now I have no ties. For the first time in my life I have nothing stopping me from doing whatever I want which is an incredible feeling.

#3 =======> I HAVEN'T GIVEN NY A CHANCE

I work approximately 60-70 hours a week. Sometimes more and when I have a day off I am so tired that all I do is waste it by sleeping or doing errands that I can't do during the days I'm working. I've been saying that New York isn't for me, but someone told me the other day, "Of course you don't love it here. You never explore the city or see things because you work an inhuman amount. How could you love it." That hit me like a freight train. It is very easy to get overwhelmed here and do nothing but work. But of all places in the world, I live in New York. It is an exciting place and everything is here. I need to start taking advantage of the city.

I tend to get lazy. I have these lofty ideas of an an "easier" day to day state of living and I do nothing to execute the things that will help me relax and be happier. Well not anymore! Today I decided to take the day off. I gave my shift away to someone and went with my roomie Nicole and her best friend Patti to The Daily Show with John Stewart which was hilarious.

Had sushi and then saw the tree in Rockafeller Center which was ridiculous.

And went to some friends house to watch the season premiere of Jersey Shore. It was a lovely day. I work tonight but woke up early to eat oatmeal, and am going to the New Museum. Eek!

Also, I am going to LA in February and Italy/France in April. I'm also considering moving to London or Shanghai after my lease expires here in September. Oooooooo....... I'm excited!

I am sick of being bored. I once read that the mark of happiness is never being bored and I believe that.

Strike while the iron is hot

I'm in a funk.

Lately I have been feeling run down and a bit depressed. This is for a myriad of reasons.

When I am feeling blue I am impulsive and irrational which is never a good thing. I don't do anything that is detrimental to myself or others, but I don't make the wisest decisions.

Feeling like this bothers me and gets in my way.

SO!!!!!!! I need to get motivated and take care of myself. I've been missing Papa a lot lately and have decided to talk to someone about it finally. I won't bore you with the details but I think it's a good idea.

Also, I'm going to sign up for French classes which is something I've wanted to do for a while. I need to read more, spend less money, walk more, start to exercise, work less, and relax MUCH more than I do.

In general, I need to start taking care of myself. Doing these things will help contribute to a happier Jenna. And we all like a happy Jenna.

My quarter life crisis

I am officially 25 years old. It's funny because I don't feel like I am 25... To me, 25 seems like I should be a grown up with everything figured out and I am definitely far from that, but I'm really happy right now. I have finally found the happy balance that I am constantly searching for.

Today I had brunch with a girlfriend...

worked a dinner shift.... and went for a glass of wine with some co-workers.

It was really a lovely day. It was the first year that I wasn't with my family and I missed them terribly, but overall I could not have asked for more.

I'm really beginning to find my place here in New York.... maybe I'll stay here for awhile....

We'll see. I live moment to moment with no long-term plans in sight. The only thing I know is that I had a great 25th birthday. Thank you to everyone who thought of me and sent warm wishes. I love all of you :)

xoxo